procrasterbate

Best definition
procrasterbate college
Putting off homework or other important activities in order to masturbate.
I failed my physics test because I stayed up looking at sheep porn instead of studying. I’m such a procrasterbator!
procrasterbate: define #2
procrasterbate
Round my way, it means you keep putting off masterbating, ie you keep procrastinating on your masterbating.
Guy: Ya I was gonna free willy and do my best automatic sprinkler impression but then I got distract… ooh look! a nickel! (..and thus another successful procrasterbate)
procrasterbate: define #3
Procrasterbate
When there is something you had wanted to, planed, or needed to do, but against your better judgement, you spent the time materbating.
I was going to use my only free time today making an Urban Dictionary entry, but all I inevitably did was Procrasterbate.
procrasterbate: define #4
procrasterbate
v. to masturbate instead of tending to one’s responsibilities, where the obvious and more productive and/or beneficial choice, such as finishing one’s work or getting much needed rest, is put off for the duration of the “me time” session, and often ignored altogether.

see also procrasterbation, procrasterbator, procrasterbatory

frank: sorry i’m too tired to drive, man. i’m exhausted.

dave: really? didnt you go to your room to pass out at real early last night?

frank: yeah, but i didn’t end up going to sleep until about 3 or so.

dave: why?

frank: i dont know, man. i watched “wild things” and it was stupid of me, but i started to procrasterbate for however long it takes form the opening credits to the end of that threesome scene.

or

jenny: what time will you be ready to go to the store to get ingredients for chili night?

kara: probably about five o’clock or so, but call me.

jenny: i swear, if you procrasterbate and aren’t ready until a quarter past, you’re done for.

procrasterbate: define #5
Procrasterbate
To combine the acts of procrastinating and masterbating.
I was going to vote, instead i procrasterbates.
procrasterbate: define #6
procrasterbate
To hold something or things off by masturbating
Tim: Hey, John are you going to do the science project?

John: I think I will go procrasterbate in the bathroom.

Tim: You little fucker.

procrasterbate: define #7
procrasterbate
1. To take physical and mental pleasure in procrastinating

2. Putting things off while realizing that it feels good, but you’re really only screwing yourself.

In an effort to procrasterbate, I alphabetized my roommate’s CD collection and made an ASCII art wall hanging of Van Gogh’s ear. In color.

…I am so screwed.
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